First post in about a month

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane. Well here is my stupid post. I know no one is going to comment. No one ever comments. No one ever reads it. I am a big fat loser. ha ha ha ha haha. Well all move into my uncle's. Interesting time. Interesting living with kids again. They crack me up. I probably won't find all that funny when I am a parent. However my uncle kids are good kids. I have enjoyed them so far. We will se how this works out as the weeks go on.

Negative on Pornography

Well if you know me, you know that I am not the person you would think would have a cell phone. Well I bought one. My uncle does not have a land line so I needed to get me a cell phone. The cool part is that walking on sunshine is my ring tone. What will be even cooler is when I get Somebody's Watching Me as my ringtone. Probably do that sometime this week. Well the negative is that my phone number is one digit away from being a cell phone number for a prostitute in an ad in the Stranger. The Stranger is one of those free stupid "news" magazines that hate everything about the city and hate everything that normal people like. So here is a transcript of a call that was made to my cell phone.

ME: "Hello"

GUY: "Hi, I am calling about the ad in the stranger"

ME: "I am sorry you have the wrong number"

GUY: "Is this ***-***-6***?"

ME: "No"

GUY: "What number did I call?"

ME(like I am going to tell him that):"Are you calling for a prostitute?"

GUY: "Yes"

ME: "I am sorry, you have dialed the wrong number for a prostitute"

Then he hung up. I have also recieved a couple of calls pretty late in the evening. One last night where the guy asked for the hourly rates. I have come to the conclusion that this might be annoying. I hope it ends soon.

Football

Nothing has happened. I hate the offseason. I can't wait for the draft.

Christians

I have come to the conclusions that many Christians do not believe in heaven. They say they do, but then they get mad when vegetables are allowed to die. I guess I will never understand how keeping someone alive with machines and feeding them is not playing god, but allowing the natural process of death is playing god. Maybe I am just too logical for religion. The whole Terry Shivoe thing pissed me off two different ways. One by the religionists saying it is murder. I mean if there is a heaven, isn't it better that she go there when there is NO chance for recovery. It is not like this lady had 5 months to come out of it. She has had 15 years. I think the miricle has passed.

Then there is the Pope. He has finally died. He has been sick for so long. Myself I find it hard to grieve for an 85 year old man dying. Well it is sad I guess. Death is a part of life. In fact you are dead longer than you are alive. Well by the year system that we use and how we as humans look at it. From what I have read this is a pretty big Pope. He did some great things in Catholic's eyes. I do no see how his death isn't a celebration as his human suffering is over and now he gets to go to the kingdom of heaven. Unless there is no heaven.

Mitch Hedberg

Here is a death that I am sad of. He was only 37 years old and had a great life ahead of him if he only realized that. Too bad he let his demons catch up with him. I am still hoping it is a joke as I was a big fan of his.

I will write down some of my favorite quotes of his.

I tried walking into a Target, but I missed.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for ME.

I would imagine if you understood Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said "I hear music." As though there's any other way to take it in. You're not special. That's how I receive it too...I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

I am very sad to see him go. I think he could of done great things.

World of Warcraft

I have been playing it again with my Uncle and his son. It is a fun game. I like it a lot.

Random Thought of the Day

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

Feel the wrath of a genius of comedy dying